Tell Me About Your Mother

Episode 55: Blame Throwers and Party Hats | Guest Sandra Killebrew

Evan Miller and Melissa Martin Season 2 Episode 55

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Welcome back our guest Sandra Killebrew, a therapist specializing in high-conflict couples therapy in Seattle, WA. This episode dives into the messy, magical work of being a therapist. We unpack what happens when clients come in with chaos—blame throwers in hand—and how playfulness, props, and presence can shift the energy in the room. From adolescent therapy and couples work to private pay dilemmas and therapist boundaries, we explore the art of staying human while holding space.

Topics include:

  • The “blame thrower” metaphor and how to manage chaotic energy
  • Using props and playfulness to disarm resistance and build trust
  • Working with teens: safety, attunement, and how to not take the bait
  • Couples therapy, contempt, and staying grounded in the storm
  • Therapist self-awareness: when over-identifying does more harm than good
  • Navigating private pay vs. insurance expectations
  • What happens when clients want therapy to “fix” someone else
  • The loneliness of solo practice and the beauty of professional community
  • Energetic integrity: how we show up when the room feels off

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Tell Me About Your Mother

Evan Miller and Melissa Martin