Tell Me About Your Mother

Episode 50: Guest Sandra Killebrew | High-Conflict Couples Therapy, Boundaries & Telling Hard Truths

Evan Miller and Melissa Martin Season 2 Episode 50

Sandra Killebrew is a high-conflict couple therapist with a boutique private practice in Tacoma, WA. She offers therapy intensives for couples in addition to weekly therapy. She likes to get on her soapbox about excellence in therapy, boundaries, telling the truth, even when it hurts, and is not afraid to say fuck. She hosts networking groups in Tacoma & Seattle and is on the board of the International Experiential Dynamic Therapy Association.

  • Guest intro: Sandra’s unique style—therapy intensives, strong boundaries, focus on truth-telling, and comfort with conflict.
  • Silence in therapy: Why awkward pauses can disarm clients and reveal vulnerability.
  • Public scandal discussion: Reflections on power, privilege, and societal judgment (cancel culture parallels).
  • Therapist self-disclosure & marketing: Debate over labeling as a “Christian therapist” and how identity marketing affects client expectations.
  • Client boundary issues: Stories of invasive consultation questions (“Are you married?” / “Do you believe in God?”) and how they reflect couple dynamics.
  • High-acuity training: How early experience with high-crisis clients shapes private practice work.
  • Couples therapy dynamics: Why consultations often feel like stepping into a “war zone” and how to hold boundaries.
  • Toxic industry norms: Discussion of underqualified providers and the importance of skilled clinical work.

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Tell Me About Your Mother

Evan Miller and Melissa Martin